


You Are Not A Cat

by SuperImposed



Series: Kinkfills: Drabbles and General Fills Edition [23]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dead animals, Gen, Kinkfill, minor slurs I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperImposed/pseuds/SuperImposed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"KARKAT: IT'S LIKE<br/>KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON<br/>KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL<br/>KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN<br/>DAVE: not really<br/>DAVE: oh wait<br/>DAVE: against all odds i sorta do<br/>DAVE: mine actually did do that once<br/>KARKAT: YES, THERE YOU GO.</p><p>-- </p><p>Oh REALLY NOW? In this case, it was somewhat explained, some kind of bib made from a horse, but I'd LOVE to see more of this odd behavior. Just quirky, "I have no idea what this is supposed to mean" stuff. You can take it anywhere you want, I just want to see this sort of thing! "</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Not A Cat

**Author's Note:**

> http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/20996.html?thread=31623940#cmt31623940

"W- Bro, really."

Your guardian pauses in the middle of dropping a ruptured puppet on the table. He quirks an eyebrow in your direction. "Something wrong little man?"

"Again with the puppet carcasses, I mean, really? Puppets are cool but this triage center shit is a little weird."

He just shrugs and flops the ripped body on the table, flashstepping to get his sewing kit. You huff in disgust and leave him to his sick doctor fantasies.

 

"Whoa!"

You wince both at the seriously unchill exclamation, and the teeth-jarring fall. "What the fu-?" you turn over and groan. "Bro, why the fuck did you leave a dead squirrel in front of my door?"

You jump as he appears out of nowhere, scoops the roadkill up, smirks, and then disappears without a word.

God _damn_ it.

 

You stare in dismay at the body in front of your apartment door, nearly missing a nosy neighbor sticking their head out and taking a peep at the carnage. "Dave...?"

You smoothly assure him that it's a prop for a play, wrangling the key into the door and hauling the body in. You only breath a sigh of relief after the neighbor retreats from your critical blank stare back into his cave.

Bro's playing Mad Snax Yo! on the couch, not even turning around as you close the door on a leg. Cursing, you drag the corpse inside a bit more and lock the deadbolt, praying for the dude next door to just chalk it up to the Strider brothers being weirdoes.

"Bro. Bro. Bro, why the fuck is there a dead deer on our welcome mat."

He pauses the game, gesturing with the controller. "We don't have a welcome mat, lil dude."

"Good thing too because I have no idea how the hell to get deer blood out of one. Can't exactly go to the grocery store comparing detergents. 'Oh how well does this remove bloodstains from inexplicably-appearing dead wildlife?' That shit ain't gonna fly Bro."

Bro unpauses the game. "Take it easy lil man, I'll deal with it."

That's the last word on Bambi. You throw your hands in the air, frustrated, and eat a bowl of cereal as resentfully and meaningfully as possible on the couch. Bro doesn't give you so much as a sidelong glance.

The body and all stains are gone the next morning, just like Bro said. You have no idea how he moved them so quietly, considering you didn't sleep a damn wink the whole night.

Your Bro is cool, but he's also fucking nuts.


End file.
